How do I know when it is time to leave the family home?

Usually when the house has started running you rather than the other way round. The yard and upkeep are more than you can do or want to pay for, stairs have entered the daily route in a way that worries you, you are driving further for things you used to walk to, or most of your money is tied up in a house that is bigger than your life now. One of those is a conversation. Several together is usually the answer.

Is there a right age to downsize?

No. Age is a poor guide, because health, finances, family and the house itself matter far more than a birthday. Some people are ready to move well before retirement, and others are well suited to the family home for many more years. The better question is whether the house still suits the next ten years of your life, not how old you are.

Should I move before I have to?

If you can, it is usually the better way. Moving by choice means you pick the house, the timing and the neighbourhood, and you have the energy to sort decades of belongings properly. Moving because of a fall or a diagnosis means someone else often makes those decisions quickly. Planning early does not commit you to going. It keeps the choice yours.

What BC programs help seniors stay in their homes?

Three worth knowing. The home owner grant has a higher additional grant for owners 65 and older, subject to an assessed value threshold. The property tax deferment program lets eligible owners 55 and older defer their annual property taxes. And the home renovation tax credit for seniors and persons with disabilities helps with accessibility renovations. Each has its own eligibility rules.

How does the BC property tax deferment program work?

If you are 55 or older, a surviving spouse, or a person with disabilities, and you qualify, the Ministry of Finance pays your current year property taxes after the due date and registers a restrictive lien on your property. Interest is charged, under the regular program at a compound rate of 2% above prime, and the deferred amount has to be repaid. It is a loan against your home, not a grant.

What is the BC home renovation tax credit for seniors?

A refundable income tax credit for people 65 and older, or persons with disabilities, toward permanent renovations that improve accessibility, functionality or mobility at home. It is 10% of qualifying costs up to $10,000, so the credit is at most $1,000 per tax year. It helps with grab bars, ramps or a walk-in shower, but it will not fund a major renovation.

How do I talk to my parents about moving?

Start with what has become hard, not with the house. Ask what their week looks like and what they are worried about. Keep your own preferences, including any feelings about the family home, out of it as much as you can. And give them time, because a decision they reach themselves is one they will live with far better than one made for them.

What if I know I will move but I am not ready yet?

Start on the parts that take longest and cost nothing to begin. Sort belongings a room at a time. Find out roughly what the house is worth and what it would need before listing. Work out where you would actually want to go. None of that commits you, and all of it makes the eventual move calmer and less rushed.

When is it time to leave the family home

By Dan Jones · September 12, 2026

Bottom line: there is no right age or date to leave the family home, and the honest signal is when the house has started running you instead of the other way round. Maintenance you can no longer do or want to pay for. Stairs that have become a worry rather than a habit. Driving further for things you used to walk to. Most of your money tied up in a house far bigger than your life now. One of those is a conversation. Several together is usually the answer. But staying can be the right choice too, and BC has programs aimed at it: a higher home owner grant for owners 65 and older, a property tax deferment program from 55, and a tax credit toward accessibility renovations. The one thing I would say to almost everyone is to decide before you are forced to, because a move by choice keeps the decisions yours.

I am Dan Jones, a REALTOR with Royal LePage Locations West in Penticton, licence number 1118346, licensed since 2004. A lot of my work now is with people leaving homes they have lived in for thirty or forty years, and I have seen this decision made well and made badly. The difference is almost never the house. It is the timing.

I am not a financial advisor, and the money side of this deserves one. What follows is what I see from the real estate side, and the provincial programs worth asking about.

The signals that usually mean it is time

The house is running you. The yard, the gutters, the snow, the repairs. You either cannot do them, do not enjoy them any more, or are paying more each year for someone else to. When upkeep has become the main thing the house asks of you, that is worth noticing.

The daily route has changed. Stairs between the bedroom and the kitchen used to be nothing. Now they are something you think about. A basement laundry has become a weekly worry.

Rooms you do not use. Two or three bedrooms closed off, heated and cleaned for visits that happen twice a year.

Distance. Driving further for groceries, appointments and friends. And the quiet thought about what happens when driving gets harder.

Money tied up in the wrong place. A large share of your net worth sitting in a house bigger than you need, while other plans wait. How that should be weighed is a question for a financial advisor or an accountant, but it is a legitimate reason to look.

Health, yours or a partner’s. Especially when a change is likely, not just possible.

The signals that are not reasons on their own

Your children think you should. Their view matters, and it is often well meant. It is not the same as the house no longer suiting you.

The market is good. A strong market is a reason to consider timing if you have already decided. It is a poor reason to decide.

A friend or neighbour moved. Their circumstances are not yours.

You feel you are supposed to at your age. There is no supposed to.

Why moving early usually wins

If a move is coming in the next few years, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to make it before it is forced.

You choose the house. Rather than taking what is available within a few weeks.

You choose the timing, including the season and the market.

You have the energy for the belongings. Sorting forty years of contents is the real work of downsizing, and it is far easier at seventy than at eighty-two after a hospital stay.

You settle in while you are well. New neighbours, new routines, new doctor, while those things are easy to build.

Planning does not commit you to going. It keeps the choice in your hands.

If staying is the right answer

Plenty of people should stay, and there are ways to make it work better.

The home owner grant for seniors. Owners 65 and older may qualify for a higher amount called the additional grant, where the property is assessed at $2,075,000 or less and other requirements are met. It reduces your property tax bill, and it has to be claimed each year.

The property tax deferment program. If you are 55 or older, a surviving spouse, or a person with disabilities, and you qualify, the Ministry of Finance pays your current year property taxes after the due date and places a restrictive lien on your property. Interest is charged, under the regular program at a compound rate of 2% above prime. It is a loan against your home, not a grant, and it has to be repaid, so understand it fully before using it.

The home renovation tax credit for seniors and persons with disabilities. For people 65 and older, or persons with a disability, toward permanent renovations that improve accessibility, functionality or mobility. It is 10% of qualifying costs up to $10,000, so at most $1,000 per tax year.

Adapting the house. Grab bars in blocked walls, a stair lift on a straight run, a main-floor bedroom, a walk-in shower. Some houses adapt easily and some cannot without moving structure, and it is worth having someone look before you spend.

Hiring help. Yard, snow, cleaning, maintenance. Often cheaper than a move, and a perfectly reasonable way to buy more years in a house you love.

The family conversation

If you are the adult child, start with what has become hard, not with the house.

Ask what their week looks like and what worries them. Listen more than you talk. Keep your own attachment to the family home out of it as far as you can, because it is their decision about their life.

And give it time. A decision they reach themselves is one they will live with. One made for them tends to be resented, and sometimes reversed.

If you are leaning toward moving

Here is the order that tends to work.

Work out where you would actually go. A town, a neighbourhood, a type of home. Rancher or two storey is usually the first question.
Start on the belongings now. Sort by decision, keep, family, sell, donate, discard, rather than by room.
Find out what the house is worth and what it needs. What to fix before you list sets out what matters and what does not.
Decide the sequence. Selling first or buying first carries different risks: sell first or buy first when downsizing.
Talk to an accountant or financial advisor about the money, including the principal residence exemption and what the proceeds need to do for you.

What I do

I am happy to sit at the kitchen table and talk this through with no listing attached, including telling you honestly when I think staying is the better answer. Sometimes it is.

Program details above come from the BC government and are current as of October 2026. Each program has eligibility rules, so confirm them for your own situation.

If you are weighing this up, for yourself or a parent, email me at dano007@shaw.ca or call 250.488.0226.